


Body Snatchers

by CaptEdKenway



Series: Sterek Drabbles [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Body Swap, Derek's life sucks, Stiles uses Derek's body, Witches, spells
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-27
Updated: 2015-09-27
Packaged: 2018-04-23 14:52:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4881040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptEdKenway/pseuds/CaptEdKenway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Derek and Stiles get hit with a witch's spell, Derek ends up with more than he bargained for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Body Snatchers

Fuck.His.Life. Seriously. Had he not had enough bad shit in his life? Was losing almost his entire family not enough? Having to kill his own uncle, see his sister cut in half, then fly his last remaining family member to South America, that wasn’t enough for the fates? He’d tried to make up for it all, tried to be a good alpha, tried to take care of his new pack. But apparently it wasn’t enough and the fates, or karma or some other cosmic comedian thought this would be hysterical. A big ole laugh on Derek Hale.

He let a long breath out slowly, eyes closed as he decided whether he should just end it all with a giant cocktail of wolfsbane. But then with his luck he’d be dead and haunted with his new body partner for all of eternity, another cosmic joke.

“Derek, you ok big guy?” Derek opened his eyes, looking at the ceiling fan above him slowly swirling. “Derek?” Lydia’s face appeared directly above his, big eyes wide in concern but at the same time Derek could’ve sworn there was a hint of amusement in the creases. He didn’t trust himself to not rip her throat out at the indignity of his situation, so he did what he does best – he scowled. Lydia’s face disappeared.

“I think he’s ok, he’s scowling.”

Suddenly several faces were above him and looking down at him. They all peered at him like he was some kind of double-headed monster with three eyes and they were waiting to see if green goo was going to shoot from his mouth. Seriously. Fuck his life.

“OK everyone, back up and give Derek some space.” Derek was almost glad to hear Deaton until the faces of the pack were replaced by his, and he looked at Derek like he was visually dissecting him. Derek scowled again and tried to sit up. He wobbled and Deaton grabbed one of his arms to steady him as he sat up and swung his legs over the side of the metal exam table. Derek felt dizzy so he closed his eyes for a moment as everything evened out. When he felt settled he opened his eyes again and looked at Deaton.

“Please tell me you can reverse this.”

****

_The witch was throwing spells left and right as she stood on the nemeton and it seemed like it was by the grace of God that the wolves were able to dodge them. No one had any idea what kind of spells were being hurled at them and no one wanted to stop dodging in order to find out. Derek was seriously considering bringing in heavy machinery and digging the remains of the nemeton out of the ground and burning the damn thing. He was trying to get close to the witch to try and take her down, moving in between trees and trying to stay out of sight. Stiles was a few feet away from him and trying to draw her attention away from Derek, but the witch was smart. She kept throwing spells as fast as she could, chunks of the undergrowth blowing up into the air as they hit.  She threw a spell just as Scott hefted a large log at her and hit her in the arm, causing the spell to go high. It flew over Derek’s head into the trees. Derek heard a loud cracking sound of a branch breaking while at the same time hearing Stiles yell his name, but before he could react Stiles ran into him, trying to knock him out of the way, just as a spell hit him._

_When Derek came to the witch was gone and Derek was literally smoking at the edges. Scott had run over to check on him, fear and panic wafting off of him and the rest of the pack._

_“Jesus Christ Derek, are you ok? I thought you were dead for a second.” Derek looked up, then held his arms up away from his body a little._

_“Why the hell am I smoking?” He asked._

_“You got hit by a spell. We have no idea what she was casting, so we don’t know what’s happening to you, if anything.” Scott and Boyd helped Derek stand up, concern etched into their faces at the paleness of Derek’s face. Derek looked around. “Where’s Stiles? Is he ok?”_

_Everyone looked nervous but no one answered. “Where is he? He ran into me, I think to get me out of the way. Is he ok?”_

_Scott finally answered. “We’re not sure, we saw him run into you and then he kind of just went poof.”_

_“Poof?” Derek raised an eyebrow._

_“Yeah, it was like he turned to mist as he hit you and the spell hit you both.”_

_Dammit, Derek thought. What the fuck had happened? He got himself up onto his feet, trying not to keel over when he got dizzy. Lydia was in front of him suddenly, looking at him intently._

_“Um guys? You might want to see this,” she said._

_The next thing he knew his entire pack was literally in his face, studying him. He heard things like, ‘what the hell,’ and ‘woah how is that possible’. He finally growled out at the all._

_“What?? What the hell are you looking at?!”_

_Lydia did her half smile thing that she does when she’s trying to work out a problem. “Well, your eyes are different. You have one green one and one brown. And you have moles now. I think you and Stiles got hit with a body morphing spell.”_

_Derek vaguely remembers hearing a bunch of commotion before everything went black._

***

After making sure Derek had no ill effects from suddenly passing out in the preserve during the latest supernatural situation, Deaton declared it safe for Derek to leave the clinic and go home. Deaton of course had no answers and needed to go look into it, so Derek and the pack headed back to the loft to wait.

The pack was sitting around in a circle trying to sort out how it was possible that Stiles was now merged into Derek, and whether that meant Stiles was gone, or just sharing the body and what they should or could do about it.

Lydia couldn’t help but notice Derek pacing off to the side, talking under his breath and his fingers dancing along his thighs as he paced. It was a very “Stiles” way of pacing. She decided to try something, just to see what would happen.

“STILES stop pacing!”

Derek jumped, arms flailing back as he whipped around towards Lydia. Erica choked on her drink as she laughed.

“Oh my God Stiles is totally in there! Look at him!” Derek scowled at Erica’s words.

_“Dude Derek, stop scowling, it hurts. How can you do that all the time?”_

“Oh my god, how is this my life? Someone out there hates me,” Derek growled, only to be followed by, _“Yeah well big guy it’s not exactly a walk in the park for me either. I mean I feel like me but in your body._ ” Derek just stood there, one arm was clenched at his side, the other one was up in front of his face, fingers moving like he was looking at them for the first time.

“Would you leave my arm alone Stiles?” Derek gritted out.

“Um Derek, what’s going on?” Scott asked, as they watched Derek apparently have a one-side conversation.

Derek looked over and sighed. “Stiles is yapping at me,” he waggled his fingers at his head, “inside my head. And apparently he has control of my left arm.”

Lydia smiled and looked happy. “Yay! So that means Stiles is alive and ok! Just stuck inside of you. So we just have to figure out how to get him back out.”

_“Oh my god this actually kinda cool. I’m totally buff and I have actual abs.”_

Derek yanked his shirt up and ran his left hand over his abdomen. “Fucking knock it off Stiles!” He growled.

_“Give me a break, I’m built now! Hey it could be worse you could’ve been stuck inside me and then I’d have to be dealing with your growling and your mood because you were inside my body and then probably all butt hurt because I’m not built like a Greek god…”_

“SHUT UP!”

“ _Dude, rude. Don’t be a sourwolf.”_

Derek opened his eyes and pinned a glare at his pack. “You all better figure out a way to reverse this before I find a way to kill myself. Because if he doesn’t stop talking soon I will eat every wolfsbane flower in the area.”

 

***

Derek had fallen asleep on the couch while most of the pack was still up. The events of the day had finally taken their toll on him and he let his eyes close for a few minutes. Within seconds he was asleep. It was early morning, too early, really, when he finally woke up.

Scott and Lydia were quietly discussing ideas and looking through books trying to find a counter spell but not having any luck. Derek sat up, rubbing his eyes, then yawned and stretched, letting his fingers lazily scratch at his sides. He looked down as he did so and raised his eyebrows, then brought his fingers up to said eyebrows and felt them as he raised and lowered them, letting out a soft snort.

Scott and Lydia were watching Derek from their place at the table, wondering what the hell Derek was doing. They watched as he went from playing with his eyebrows to scratching at his beard. He got up, tripped over a pizza box on the floor and flailed, then went over to a mirror in the entry way. Scott and Lydia just watched, wide-eyed in amusement but afraid to make any sounds. Derek hadn’t noticed they were awake and at the table. The rest of the pack had puppy-piled on the floor.

Derek stood in front of the mirror and was touching his face, then ran his hands down his chest. He lifted his shirt up and poked himself in the abs, making a face like he was smugly satisfied with what he saw. He lifted his legs up and out in front of him, checking them out, then grabbed his crotch. Scott choked on his own spit when he heard a breathless “duuude” come out of Derek’s mouth. At the sound of choking Derek looked up and over, noticing Scott and Lydia for the first time.

“This is so _fucking_ cool man!” Derek said, in a very un-Derek manner. “Um, Derek? You ok man?” Scott asked. Derek walked over to the table, avoiding all of the bodies strewn around the area sleeping.

“Nah man, it’s me. I think Derek’s asleep and I have total control of his body. Oh my god, the things I _could do_ right now. I wonder how long he’ll be asleep and how much I can do.”

“You know Stiles, I’d be, uh, careful,” Lydia said. “You know cause if you do something that makes Derek mad he’ll go postal on you.”

Stiles shrugged. “Eh, so what else would be new? Hell no I’m gonna take advantage of this. And the first thing I’m gonna do is go pee and see just how hung our good alpha _really_ is.” And with a cheeky grin Stiles ran off to the bathroom upstairs.

Scott face-palmed as Lydia just raised an eyebrow. She looked over at Scott just as he said, “oh man Derek is going to kill him. Bring him back to life, then kill him again.”

It was some time later when Stiles came back out, and he went into the kitchen to begin putting breakfast together as various pack members began to wake up. Stiles, pack-mom that he was, almost always took charge of the food. He began to whip up eggs, bacon, toast, sausages and waffles, and as the aroma of the food began to worm its way through into the living area the sounds of waking pack became louder, as their noses picked up on the scents of the food. Stiles began to plate the food and arrange the plates on the counter so people could just grab one and eat. Erica walked in first and immediately went bug-eyed at the sight greeting her.

“Oh wow, not what I was expecting to see.” Hearing her words, others began to come in to the kitchen and each one stood there, wide-eyes, jaws dropped. They all stood there as, who they assumed was Derek, was singing Taylor Swift’s “Shake it off”, dancing and shaking his butt in all the appropriate places, as he flipped bacon. As he turned and spotted his audience, he smiled at them all and yelled, “breakfast’s ready, come and get it boys and girls!”

“Does anyone else feel like we stepped into an episode of The Twilight Zone?” Jackson asked. There were several murmurs of agreement. Scott walked in and cut through the pack.

“Stiles, that still you?” He just nodded and went back to putting more meat in the frying pan. “Yep, sourwolf’s still asleep. Lazy bum.”

Kira looked confused. “So, wait, are we talking to Stiles?” When Stiles nodded yes to her, she looked amazed. “So, Derek’s not there? You’re in control of his whole body?”

Pulling the meat out of the pan and onto a plate, then putting the pan on a back burner to cool off Stiles nodded at her. “Yeah, big guy is asleep and his body is all mine.” Stiles stilled for a second, then shrugged. “I take it back, I think he’s finally waking up. I feel an immense sense of broodiness coming over me.” He paused again, then cheekily said to no one, “morning sleepyhead!”

“ _Oh.My.Fucking.God_.”

“And good morning to you too sunshine,” came Stiles’ snarky retort.

“ _Give me my body back, NOW_.”

“Nope, not until you ask nicely. That’s no way to talk to your body mate.”

“ _You are NOT my body mate. You are a parasite. Now give me back my body!”_

The pack all stood there, silently eating from their plates, watching the one-sided conversation going on in front of them. It was almost comical. No one said a word, not wanting to interrupt.

“Nah, you know what, I think that witch knew what she was doing. This is a way for me to teach you to be nice to people, and not slam them into walls or doors or steering wheels. We can work on your attitude, definitely your manners, you know things like saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. It’ll be fun!”

Turning to his audience Stiles smiled at them. “So I can see why you all wanted to be werewolves. Having a hot body, better strength, definite plusses in my book. The enhanced smell, not so much. Might just have to reconsider the bite to be perfectly honest. Plus to be able to do this, is freaking _awesome_!”

Stiles let himself shift into Derek’s alpha form, then back. He kept shifting backing and forth and in an Arnold Schwarzenegger voice alternated with, “Alpha Me,” “Not Alpha Me”, as he shifted between forms.

Jackson started laughing, he couldn’t help it. This was prime blackmail material right here and he quickly pulled his phone out and swiped it on, opening his camera app and recording the scene in front of him.

Stiles kept it up before suddenly yelping “Owowowow!” as one of his hands grabbed the top of his ear and yanked up, like a mother would to an unruly child. “Owowow Derek! OK OK! Uncle!” There seemed to be some kind of internal fight happening inside before the ear was released and a look of anger crossed over his face.

“THAT will never happen again, do you hear me?” Derek growled out.

“ _Dude, rude_.”

“I mean it Stiles. So help me god.”

_“Ugh, whatev’.”_

Derek ran his hands through his hair before glaring out at his pack. “Show’s over!” The pack quietly turned and left the kitchen, even as Jackson and Erica smirked, leaving Derek alone. Derek sighed, wanting nothing more than to get his body back. As he began to clean up the mess from breakfast Stiles decided to get one last word in.

“ _Nice dick by the way_.”

Derek just banged his head into the cabinet, once again wondering who he pissed off.


End file.
